Eating my own words

Not going to lie - Thyrogen makes you feel yucky.  I know I know I know, not as yucky as it would have been to go off all the meds and do the no iodine diet but I feel lousy. 

I know I am the luckiest girl in Canada this week to have gotten my Thyrogen prescription filled.  Thanks to the quick work of my pharmacist Betty who (after I had a complete meltdown at Pharma Plus when she told me that there would be no Thyrogen until 2012) called the company personally that manufactures it to ask what the hell was going on. 

Betty found out that they were only able to produce a limited amount of it and in 1 hour of notifying pharmacies across Canada, they were out. 

But, Betty found out form the company that a pharmacist in Guelph had 6 extra prescriptions because they read his order wrong.  They thought he wrote 7 orders on his fax but they miss read it when it had only been 1 that he wanted. 

So, Betty called Guelph and got me one of his extra orders but I had to drive there to pick it up.  No problem I said, I would drive anywhere to get this stuff to get the process moving along.  So, Meg and I drove to Guelph and met this great guy with the extra Thyrogen and we drove home so happy. 

Monday I had to go to my family doctor's office who needed to inject me with 1 of the doses and then I went back Tuesday for the 2nd dose.  It makes you feel really spacey and nauseous.  I tried to push through this week by staying busy but it really puts your body into a tail spin.  Friday I get the blood tests and scans to reveal what is left in my body for the ROI treatments next.  Imagine if I didn't get the Thyrogen until next year!  I would be thinking about the cells in my body and it would drive me even more nuts. 

So, there I am 3 days in and haven't worked out yet this week because I am feeling so bad but by today, I was feeling the worst but now I missed another run. 

Then I saw it, Runners World July 2011 issue on my coffee table.  The issue where I'M quoted for thousands to read that people can still train while having cancer treatments.  In fact, I am quoted as saying that people can still walk, set goals and achieve them.  So, I got dressed tonight and decided that I would walk 5km just to get out of the house.  As I got going, I felt pretty good so started jogging which turned out to be great and eventually I ran 8km just as the training schedule says.  I did throw up at the end near the gas bar up the road and 2 people asked if I was OK but I just started laughing.

As I hit 5k with 3k to go I thought about this October and kilometer #39 in which there will be 3km to go in the marathon.  I thought about how lousy I feel now and that if I can push through tonight, I can push through on that day. 

I think this is what is meant by "a taste of your own medicine".

"One Revolution"

My life has always had great timing and this weekend was no exception. 

Friday night while packing for the MS Rona bike ride on the weekend, the ABC TV show 20/20 came on.  Lennie, Megan, Scotty and I decided we would watch it as I saw a blurb for a cool part of it on Twitter. Summer Sanders tweeted that a friend of hers from UTAH was going to be spotlighted in a segment.  It was about a guy who climbed Mount Kilimanjaro as a paraplegic.  Since Lennie and I are climbing Kili February 2013 I wanted to see some footage.  Of course, lessons are always learned when you are not excepting them and this TV program would be a great lesson for me with the bike weekend to come. 

The segment came on entitled; Super Humans: Arms of Steel and a guy named Chris Waddell who cranked his way up Mt. Kilimanjaro on a hand cycle to inspire the disabled.  http://abcnews.go.com/2020/

Chris was injured in a ski accident but that didn't slow him down and he set his sights on Kilimanjaro and a documentary crew followed him every step of the way.  He was able to make the 6-day climb in this amazing wheel chair bike that was engineered for him.  But, with just a short distance to go, he couldn't go any further because of the very difficult terrain.  He decided that he would just crank the wheel "one revolution" at a time and that would get him to the top.  20/20 has terrific footage of him turning the wheel one revolution and then Chris resting.  I had of course had an epiphany and said that is how I will get through my 165km ride weekend - one revolution at a time.  If Chris Waddell can summit Kilimanjaro with just the use of his arms, I can ride to and from Grand Bend Ontario with my 4 limbs.  Check out his documentary and web page at http://www.one-revolution.com/

So, I woke up Saturday morning, Lennie got me to the start line with my On Your Left Team and we took off for an 88km ride to London.  It was not easy. 

Our team had done some short Tuesday and Saturday training rides but the furthest I rode in 1 day was about 80km from Ottawa, Ontario to Calumet, Quebec in 1991.  I didn't have a car and wanted to see Lennie so the only way to get to see him was to ride from my house to Quebec on highway 148.  I made it until the town right before Calumet.  Lennie drove in his truck from the opposite direction till he found me and everyone thought I was nuts to attempt that ride on a 2 lane highway, by myself on a 6 speed bike. 

This ride was no different.  Day 1 - Saturday morning was a gorgeous morning when the siren went off for our wave of riders at about 8:15am.  Lennie had dropped me off but took a map and waited till we passed at one of the cross roads.  He snapped some action shots. 

I loved our team jerseys.  Everyone commented on how fun they were because as they passed you they have to yell out "on your left", once they saw the jersey, they would say 'on your left, On Your Left" and then say - great team name. 

It was hot out and my shoulder cramped up for most of the 2nd half of the ride.  The traffic did freak me out and I was a tad lonely as I rode most the race by myself.  (once again slow poke) but at the last rest station I caught up to 2 riders from our team; John and Jerry and they said they would ride with me to the finish line.  That was great as we counted down the kms to London.  I crossed the line 88km line in 4:40 and kept to my 3:15/km pace.  Pretty damn slow as it turns out as most the team was already there but the best was my parents drove over to the finish line and were cheering with the team. 

I was so proud to be a team of 31 people (about 21 made the ride) for such a great cause.  I had raised $1001 and was so proud to be participating with Lindsay, Lish, Conor, and the whole team of wonderful people.  1850 other riders took part and I was thrilled just to be well enough to ride. 

Saturday night we all stayed in residence at UWO and what a throw back in time.  That is where I met my husband in 1988 and I got to reminisce about all the fun we had during university days.  The MS society provided a dinner, beer garden and speeches for Saturday night but we all packed it in pretty early knowing we still had to ride back on Sunday.  Lindsay and I roomed together and giggled about being back at Fitness Ridge last summer together - those rooms were a tad nicer as the beds in residence were so hard. 

Day 2 began a little earlier - 7:00am and I was able to wear my new jersey I received for being a member of the $1000 club.  They provide you with a special jersey for hitting that pledge mark and I wore it with pride on Sunday.  As people saw or passed you, they would congratulate you on your fundraising accomplishment.  That was really cool. 

I felt amazing on Sunday and rode my butt off.  I didn't even stop at the first rest station and got into a groove for the whole ride.  I tried to stay under 3 minutes a km and was able to stay at 2:50 the whole time.  No pain except my knees with about 15 km to go and I did need a little more 'anti chaffing' cream but I survived and crossed the 76 km route in 3:35 minutes.  Pretty good being the second day, 220 pounds, and on a mountain bike - imagine how fast I will be next year with a new bike, this experience and a little lighter!   Lish and Lindsay were sitting at the finish to see me cross,  What was great was seeing the rest of our team finish together and so many people accomplish is awesome feat.  165kms Grand Bend to London and back again!!!

The whole ride I didn't even think about much other than the countryside sites, triathlons, and how I could go faster.  I knew that 90km was the bike distance for a 1/2 Ironman so I focused on the feeling of having just swam and then running after this distance - I think I could do it - with a much better bike that it.  The mountain bike didn't make it easy because it was so hot the wider tires made it grip more and a little harder to move plus the handle bars made you stay in one position, often I wished I could lean forward to cut the wind or stretch my back. 

Lennie made it back on Sunday to see me finish and snapped some more photos.  I wanted to stay and hang out with the team for the BBQ and fun but I was feeling good and didn't want to push it knowing this week would be interesting with my Thyrogen injections and tests for radiation treatment. 

Thank you so much to all my donors for your contributions and I look forward to celebrating again with my team.

We got home and I rested till Scott and Meg came over for dinner and we all laughed about me riding and doing these crazy things.  My dad popped over for a swim and I told him that I am going to do a 1/2 Ironman in Indiana next summer and he just shook his head.  I told him 'One Revolution" at a time dad but he didn't get it.  I did and that's all that matters.

"Hair" today, gone tomorrow

Let's be honest, I'm a solid 7. 

On a good day, a 7 1/2, at a few weddings an 8 and on my wedding day I think I hit my high at 8 1/2. 

I am not glamorous, gorgeous, hot, pretty, cute or any of those things.  I think people would describe me as nice.  Nothing too outlandish or memorable just nice. 

Growing up, because I was so active, my mom always made me have a short hair cut so that my hair would not get in my eyes when I was swimming or dancing.  I hated it because I was always called a boy.  But, it was very thin and fine textured so growing it long was not an option.

As I got older, I grew my hair out thicker and eventually it could wear a ponytail like everyone else and even used hot rollers to curl it all the time.  I trimmed it often but pretty much had hair down past my shoulders, all one length and straight as an arrow. 

It seemed to be pretty good in the 90s and I even had a short stint as a hair model. 

I wore it the same way every single day for the past million years.  I actually wore up it up in a bun or pony tail every day.  Once in a while I would wear it half up/half down or with a hair comb and people would always comment on it being nice.  But, it would drive me nuts and be so hot when I had it down so even on those days when I wore it down, by the end of the day, it was up in a bun.

So, when it started to really fall out recently due to all the meds I am taking, I do not know why I started to get upset.  I had to grease it to my head on the left side to cover the hole that was starting to appear and my forehead was turning into a five head with the hair line moving so far back.  I first noticed the hair loss in my eye lashes, then my eye brows, and then my legs.  No shaving or waxing needed here. 

I really just wanted it to last through to last Saturday for my cousin Sharon's wedding.  It did and today I needed to go get it cut off.  It actually was driving me nuts.  Not only was there hair everywhere in our house but it was so heavy and would drive me nuts when running.

So, here is the adventure at the hair salon today. 

You can imagine the look on my stylist's face when I walked in and told her to cut it all off.  She actually said I "need to take a minute".  I brought some pictures in that my friend Jamie had found and a magazine that my co-worker Laurie had brought in with all kinds of short hair styles in it.  Sara, the stylist looked at the pictures and asked me if I was sure and then she saw the hole on the left side, the thinning, and when she went to comb it, she saw what I was talking about when I said it was falling out. 

So, she put my hair in a braid and cut away.  The whole place was watching and I even saw a woman go get another women and heard them talking about "the girl who was going to cut all her hair off". 

I was thrilled when Sara told me that I would be able to donate it - I thought you could not donate coloured hair (I had a few highlights in there) but she assured me that the people that pick it up for wigs said they will take coloured hair.  Cool, I get to help someone with hair stuff too. My braid was 11 inches long - I measured it as Sara was checking out the pictures that I brought it.  Wow was it heavy too.  Even though it was thinning, I can't believe how heavy it really was.  When I would run, it would be so heavy because it would be wet - I wonder if I will be faster now?

I teared up a tad when she actually cut the hair off but not because I was sad over the hair being gone but because I was so happy to have it gone.  A weight was lifted.  Some weird feeling came over me and it was a sense of freedom or lightness that I really can't describe. 

I think I actually have been using my hair to hide behind all these years.  That is why I wear glasses too.  You can feel that you are hiding behind your glasses and hair and that people do not have to see the real you.  Growing up I used to wear big baggy clothes so that people could not really see what I looked like.  You can imagine how difficult it was for a tomboy growing up when Spandex came into fashion - kill me!

But, this is one of those great things that cancer has helped me to realize, I do not need to hide anymore.  Even if the rest of it falls out, I feel great and realize that it comes down to the old saying...it is what is on the inside that matters most.

So, here I am with new short, short, short hair, no glasses or makeup. 

A solid 7 1/2 :) 



Reality Check

Just saw my blog's running countdown meter and noticed that today is 100 days until my next marathon.

Chicago 2011 is going to be amazing. Lennie is coming with me again and my big brother Jeff says he is coming to see what all this marathon stuff is all about. I think this will blow his mind when he sees 45,000 people pass him while Lennie drags him around the city to see me pass by.

Ran 22km this morning as part of our running plan. Feeling great and strong.

The only yucky thing right now is that my hair is falling out because of my meds so it am going to cut it all off on July 8th. Should be interesting to not have long hair that I have had to deal with for so long. Maybe it will make me faster :) I do know that it gets really heavy from sweating so much. I know I will be looking like a boy for a while but the holes on my head right now are getting hard to cover. I am just going to cut it short and live with it for a while until the radiation and cancer stuff is over.

Hugs to all.